Can divorce be a good thing? Through my previous blog posts I have talked about the importance of the family unit. While the family unit may be important to maintain, what happens when things don’t quite work out the way we hoped?
In recent years the US divorce rate has gone down, despite what the popular thought is, the divorce rate is around 30% rather than close to 50%. The percentage is one of the current myths regarding divorce and remarriage. A few of the other myths include separation is good, it is better for the kids, and the split is a happy thing. The final legal divorce of marriage is often thought of as a relief for some, but divorce is two sided and at least one of the parties involved is likely going to be hurt in the end. If the divorce is painful why go through with it? Is there a way to resolve the issues and make peace with the family? A high percentage of couples(70%) who work things out say that within 5 years the relationship is much better than ever before. Another myth is divorce is better for kids since the parents are no longer fighting or there isn’t any struggle within the home. The facts with this one is that it could be better since there isn’t visual distress; however, the stress of having a split home can be very heavy on a child. When splitting a parental role is removed from a daily role to an occasional role. This removal causes extra stress, when visiting or in joint custody the child is constantly changing rules and roles in the two households, they essentially get put into two seperate family circles. And the fourth myth is that separation can be a good thing. This sentence may be a common one “Maybe we should have some time apart to help us resolve our issues.” That may sound and feel like a good idea, but it actually goes back to a similar concept to cohabitation. The cohabiting couple may live together but they often still have seperate lives. The married couple deciding to separate for a time will slowly separate their own lives. This development of becoming more individual and independent will just make finalizing a divorce easier.
This seperation of living takes us to the topic of the stations of divorce. A divorce station is a level of marital splitting. They don’t exactly happen in a specific order, I will list them how i have them in my notes. The first is emotional divorce, this is often what starts it all off. The concept is pretty straight forward, the couple no longer feels attached in an emotional way. This loss of attachment could be in the level of comfort, a decrease in desire to be around each other, or many others. The next station is Legal, this is what it sounds like. The signed paperwork and the marriage is no longer recognized. Often the economic station takes place before or at the same time as the legal station. It is a separation of financial assets, and the couple no longer has or feels no obligation toward each other. Co-Parental is the next station, this is the split of the kids through custody and visitation rules set by the judge. The next two stations are community and psychic. Community station is a split for one of the parties, when a couple splits then one of them normally ends up splitting from the normal group of friends and associates that the couple used to be involved with. And finally the Psychic station is often the last to take place. This station is where there is a full mental split, the person has accepted the split and doesn’t feel any attachment to the previous spouse.
Divorce is a serious subject and should be treated as such. If a couple has a desire to do so they should first do all they can before deciding to go through with it especially if there are children involved. If a person does their very very best no matter the end result they will come out with a clear mind and be more prepared for the future whether that is an improved family, or remarrying. We should always do our very best when it comes to saving a family.
Bình luận