The thought of today is about family systems.
The family is a system which you could compare to a car or a bike. They have different parts and each part is needed, and has its own roles and rules of how they function alone and together. If a part goes missing or stops working, it needs to be worked on in order for the family or car to function properly.
Now there are a variety of systems in social science. Each has its own set of roles and rules, as well many subsystems. In a classroom system there could be a subsystem of teacher to student or student to student, even the places the students sit fit into the system. The family has these as well. There are marital, parental, and executive roles, which we would hope to be run by the same people. This isn’t always the case. Sometimes a child or grandparent is brought into the executive or parental subsystem. Also, there are subsystems between parent and child, and then even different systems between the children of the family.
A question I had while learning and reading about the system theory was, if the family is a system with many different roles, rules, and boundaries, how does the system improve or how does the opposite occur?
Well, there are quite a lot of factors that play into the function of the family system. One factor I found very interesting is called Circular Causality. Essentially it means that when Person A says or does something, Person B has a reaction that sends feedback to Person A who then has the reaction which creates the same reaction for Person B. It makes a little more sense when drawn out. Person A, and Person B end up in this continuous cycle that can either spiral up or spiral down. Knowing this we can easily pick out the pattern in many cases. It also can become more complex.
When we look at the idea of the roles certain family members play in the system, you can find that when a family is brought back together (such as a family reunion) the family members often slip back into the roles they previously had. Example: The child who became the “boss” among the children begins to boss and give orders to the family to make sure things get done. In the case that a part of the system is gone or no longer functions the way it did, another part of the family will step up and take its place. We see this most easily when a father leaves the home, the eldest son tends to step up and assume many of the fatherly responsibilities. Roles are a key part in the function of the system.
Now, with just these two patterns of the family system in mind, let's think about what happens when they combine, and create a multi-generational spiral. For me it was best explained with the departure of the father. The father leaves the system in one way or another, and a different part of the family steps up to fill the spot. Then with the spot now filled by the part or now father figure, that child begins to lose sight of their own family system. This then creates a malfunction to that figure’s role in their own children’s and spouse’s system. The pattern then restarts, another part in the new family steps up and fills the gaps left by the figure who is occupied playing the role of father in their family of origin. And so on and so forth.
Fortunately, it is possible for patterns to either be corrected or broken. It takes a little extra effort and bravery, but if one learns how to act independently and not react impulsively to a change or even a tradition of a family system. The system will likely adjust for the better. The roles and rules of the family system are important and if all the parts of a system come together correctly and learn to act and react as a whole, that family system can accomplish and thrive in many situations.
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